Harry Potter

Wizards and witches?  Nope; but a Magic Wand.


Or as the wife says, “Ooohhhhh YES!  Ohhh My GOD YESSSSSSSSS!!!!”

Now being of the male persuasion; I have to lead the review of the actual product to better qualified individuals (aka those with a clitorus) and this seems to hit the spot: http://sluttygirlproblems.com/review/the-original-hitachi-magic-wand/#.VeSe-v2COJI
Where I can step back up to the mic is the discussion around use and how it can take you down… down… down towards every sub’s goal of subspace.

The influence of the magic wand by itself is impressive, now add in nipple clamps, vaginal and/or anal stimulation spankings and do so in the right combination and you are on your way.

The bad news, your sub is the only one who can identify the correct blend.  Experiment and watch her body.  Look for physical responses.  Push things forward where you can but be prepared to step back.

One combination is to bring her to the edge or let her orgasm on the wand, then take it away and use a riding crop on her clit.

Cycle through this for a while, add in vaginal stimulation, clamp the nipples, leave her tied up.  She will follow the stimulation down if you find the needed mix.

Experiment with oils and lubricant, use of holes, and whatever stimulates her.

Having a Magic Wand in your toolkit is one of those basic “must have” items.
-that being said, there are really no “must have” tools.  You could create a world of BDSM from what you have in the kitchen!


I feel like I have written about this topic before; and there are a ton of people out there looking to surrender control to someone.

That… Scares me.  First, because there are also a ton of people out there that will take advantage of that.  Maybe not intentionally, but so many people consider themselves “doms” that if we were a corporation we would have achieved market saturation.

THANKS E. L. James!

Yes… Your books created a mainstream event.  Every housewife wanted to be dominated.  It was suddenly OK to read BDSM books in public.  That was the good news.

The bad news it was not really BDSM; and more to the point if you follow them as a manual… We are all in trouble.

This, however, is not a book review.  What it is, is a review of the word “control”.

I believe that control is an elusion.  It is created when two people interact, develop a relationship, and create a trusting environment.

That does not mean that two people who meet on a bar cannot have a hot night of rough fucking where the guy dominates the girl; but that control is instant.  It does not transfer beyond the alchahol enfused desire and need.

The next morning one of you is likely to regret what happened; and the situation could be toxic.  That is not trust, and without trust there can be no control.

I say that control is an elusion; and it is.  The Dominant, a true Dom, is in control because the submissive allows it.  he/she elects to give up control because the Dominant has earned it.

The Dominant has rules, punishments, and rewards.  All of which they can given to the submissive because the sub allows it.  At any moment that the sub says “no” it becomes dark, an unwanted thing.  Just because she wanted to have a rope around her neck yesterday does not mean she is OK with it today.  The Dominant has to watch for signs and guide the submissive carefully to ensure success.

As Dominants, we enjoy the control we earn; but we are really more of guides.  We are lucky enough to get to touch lives, to lead, to accept the gift of control from a submissive who is sureendering themselves to us.

That. Is. A. Amazing. Thing.

Keeping Things Out of the “Limelight”

We have a lot of friends that come over to our house and hang out.  As far as we know they are all “vanilla” in their tastes and activities; just as much of all of our lives is vanilla.  They work, have kids, and do everything that we all do to pay the bills and enjoy our families.

Like them we have kids and like most people we do not want our children to learn everything from us.  Like everyone else, we all need to learn a few things on our own and work though what our preferences are and what we measure as “normal”

To that end, we have worked at keeping things hidden.  Our play table, is a massage table.  But the best purchase was the “access panel” I added to the ceiling.

It is cool by itself; but the key is that it needed to be able to hold 200 lbs (so I could hang from the hook and make sure the wife would be safe).  So it required a bit more work.

Step 1 was buying an access panel.  There are tons of them out there, and we purchased one that looked like this:


(Thinking back I probably discussed this same topic but not as in depth as this article).

With that door came a template that you tape to the wall or ceiling and then cut out the shape you need.  So I found the joists in the ceiling and centered everything up between two, and started cutting.

I got a small hole going then climbed up into the ceiling to clear away the insulation above our bedroom.

After that, I finished cutting out the hole.  The easy part done I climbed back into the ceiling to sweat some more.  I measured the distance between the joists and then grabbed a 2X6 board. and some 2X4 boards  I cut them to the right length and screwed the 2X4s between the joists to create a smaller box then screwed two lengths of the 2×6 across the top of the box to give me the support I needed for the hook I was hanging.

I stopped for an iced beverage, then drilled a hole through the 2X6 boards and hung a hook trough that on a 1/2 inch bolt with a loop on it.

Then I fit the access panel in and made everything look nice and clean:


Finally I added a climbing quickdraw


That allowed me to hang anything I wanted from that hook easily.  Normally I hang exercise gear from it; and when friends and kids are not around, I can use it for its true purpose.  When they are around, I can close it or hang some climbing tool there for the kids to play on!