I have been cleaning a bit and needed to organize my toys.  I took some photos of a lot of the play things around the house.



The Rewrite

I am playing around with a new contract document.  The beastly file is up to 14 pages!

We should have it posted here in the next week.

It covers expectations and rules for both of us.  Punishments for my wife/submissive and everything I could think of (which means a ton of stuff has been left out).

We have been very lax as of late; and I took my wife’s collar back yesterday to symbolize that we have not been on the right track and to motivate us to realign and fix the problem.

Something They Are Not

Recently more and more people have been asking about how they can help their dominant be more dominant.  I suspect there are people wondering how to make their submissive fall more into the submissive mindset as well; but are afraid to ask… Thinking that asking makes them less dominant.

The short answer is that you can never make someone into something they are not.
No way, no how, no chance!

Now that being said… If a person is interested in being more dominant, the best tools available to them are to:

  1. Have a submissive that understands they are learning.
  2. Be open to the submissive topping from the bottom (aka helping both of you to get where the dominant and submissive want to be).
  3. Read!  Read a lot, find the things that make sense to you and look for ways that you can tighten things up.
  4. Talk often about how things are going.
  5. Set both long term and short term goals such as “This week you will kneel at the bed in the morning” and “By Christmas you will dress and do your makeup in the style of a 1950’s housewife”.
  6. Set dates to evaluate your progress and realign your goals.  Things that sounded awesome on day one may not make much sense on day 100.

In the end, it comes down to commitment and communication.  If your dominant or submissive wants to change who they are, it can take time.  They probably have years of building who they currently are, so give it some time for them to become someone new and be supportive!


In reading some documents about what makes a good leader and what makes a good dominant (as well as a bad one) I have come to realize that they share the same traits.

Which makes sense when you consider what a leader and dominant do.  They are really the same thing, only one may not be spanking their subordinates as much as the other.

In my travels across the Internet I found lots of info graphics on what makes a good leader; but none as to what makes a good dominant, so I created one:



Hello all,

As a few of you may have surmised from previous posts I enjoy the process of building things. This extends out into our D/s lifestyle (which has as of late not been as dominant or submissive as it could be – busy days and what not). However I found a few links that any do it “yourselfer” may enjoy.

Check these out!

Domina’s Shopping and Home Manufacturing Tips:
Sartan’s BDSM Workshop:
Foxy Furniture: (Free plans or you can buy the finished products)

This one really interests me, I think a lot of creative ideas could be built from this frame!

The image above is from EMMA’s page.